


13.02 A Better Change, New Acceptance

by Kirabaros



Series: The BAU Family One Shots- Season 13 [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 04:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16339976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabaros/pseuds/Kirabaros
Summary: Reid has a heart to heart with Emily about his reinstatement. Tag to A Better Place.





	13.02 A Better Change, New Acceptance

_The two most powerful warriors are patience and time._ – Leo Tolstoy

Patience was considered a virtue. It was a virtue and could be a strength. It certainly was once one of Spencer Reid’s qualities. He had proven he had patience in a lot of things. He certainly proved it when he pursued the woman that became his wife and he definitely had it when he learned to live with his roommate who became his best friend and practically older brother. This time though, he wasn’t certain he had it.

The team had been place on a six week leave after Scratch had set a trap for the team and kidnapped Emily and drugged her. During that time he had been working on getting reinstated. He did the mandatory psych evals and his gun qualification. He did everything, including spoiling his wife by waiting on her hand and foot much to her amusement, and was reinstated. But there was a stipulation to that reinstatement and it was non-negotiable.

Initially, it felt like an insult to his abilities. He felt a pang of anger at first but some of his favorite tea and a few words from his best friend and a phone call from his wife and he saw the reasoning… sort of. It allowed him to get back to work and the high note was that in addition to Matt Simmons joining the team, Michael was on the team as well. Per Emily’s request, DIA decided on some sort of liaison positon with the stipulation that he could be pulled as needed to meet with his ODA team. It was weird so Reid didn’t question it and Michael was disinclined to talk about it and no one questioned it. In any case, Reid felt… he wanted to say he felt safe with his big brother more in his life. But he was still uncertain.

Luckily, there was a case to keep his mind mostly occupied in Naples, Florida. The unsub was killing women and packing them in vintage suitcases. He was assigned with Emily and Michael to set up shop at the local precinct. He was going over the casefile with his mind mostly on the case but his thoughts were going back to the stipulation that he had to agree to. He managed to reply to Emily’s query about whether or not he was okay. He gave an assuring murmur and went back to writing until he glanced over to see Michael sorting paperwork like he was engrossed with it but he knew better. Reid felt he had to get it out since he learned the hard way about bottling things in, “No. Actually, no.”

Emily turned and cast a quick glance at Michael. He gave her a look and a slight nod before going back to work after pulling out a set of noise cancelling headphones. She knew about them but it still surprised her that he just did that. She turned her focus to Reid and asked, “What’s going on?”

Reid sat back in his chair. He noticed Michael was wearing his noise cancelling headphones. He wanted to smile since he knew the reason behind them but he also wanted to hug him. He knew Michael was tuning out them as a courtesy. It allowed him to focus on Emily and he said, “There was a condition to my reinstatement. For every hundred days that I spend in the field, I’m required to take thirty days off.”

Emily nodded, “I know. They told me.”

“So it’s not even a full reinstatement,” Reid protested.

Emily saw where this was going. She glanced over at Michael and saw that he wasn’t even paying attention. She was willing to bet though that he would know everything about this conversation eventually. She never figured out how he did that. Sitting down for a heart to heart with Reid, she replied, “Of course it is. The thirty day clause is just a temporary safety valve. We all need one now and then. Hell, I just finished watching 119 episodes of _The Amazing Race_ for that reason.”

Reid felt a little foolish but he still wasn’t completely convinced. True he had a pep talk with Michael after his gun qualification but… He had learned that the mind could always bring back doubts. Michael said it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing but that when you start to have doubts, it’s a sign to reevaluate how you go about making your decisions and that each experience taught you something about yourself.

Emily saw the look on Reid’s face and continued, “Besides, it’s not like you’ll be put in mothballs for those thirty days. I’ve arranged for you to teach a series of seminars to other agents.”

Reid frowned slightly as he asked, “Seminars about what?”

“That’s up to you,” Emily replied with a slight gesture. “The world according to Spencer Reid,” she added with a hint of pride in her voice. “Besides, I’m sure it will help with Gen. How is she by the way?”

Reid blinked at the question. He had gotten better at not stiffening at the mention of his wife. That was the worst tell he had and it had been a source of jokes with the team when Morgan had been there. He thought about it and concluded that his thirty day cooling off period would be a good thing in the coming months. He was doing what he could to keep Genevieve from getting overexcited about everything and preparations. He allowed a small smile, “She’s doing fine. Mostly tired but… active and happy.”

“And you?”

Reid made a slight sound, “I think I understand what Mike meant when he told me when Sarai was pregnant with Rory.” He cleared his throat slightly, “I’m content.” He frowned slightly since he wasn’t sure about the word being the right one.

Emily understood and gave a reassuring hand squeeze. “It makes me excited that there will be a mini Reid.” She smiled at him.

“Gen is convinced that the baby will be like me even though there is no conclusive evidence intelligence is inherited,” Reid replied, “And she doesn’t want to know if it’s a boy of a girl until it’s born. It’s one surprise I actually like.”

“I’ll bet.”

Reid smiled along with Emily. He truly was happy that his wife was pregnant and it looked like she was going to carry to term. It was like that relief after all the pain. He sobered and asked, “Are you worried?”

“About what?”

“About me being in the field. That I might freak out, overreact?” Reid turned a piercing gaze at Emily. He knew people were glad he was reinstated but being a profiler… he had to know what people really thought.

“Why would you even…”

“Because I wanted to kill Scratch,” Reid interrupted. He had to lay it out to Emily. He had once before to Michael and somewhat to Genevieve so it was easier.

Emily understood and nodded slightly, “Standing room only on that bus.”

“No, I mean it literally.” Reid looked at Emily and was prepared for the ax to fall. He leaned forward and explained himself, “After what he did to you, if I had found him, I would have killed him. And… I would have slept well.”

Emily processed Reid’s confession. She knew that he was risking quite a bit with that confession since it could easily be taken the wrong way. She understood his feelings though. The BAU was a family to him and in his mind he was seeing someone who had hurt a member of that family. It was no different than what she had witnessed with Michael’s reaction to Reid being arrested and the very likely possibility of his not being extradited. Even though Michael reacted that way, he still kept his head in the game because he knew he was needed and he came through on more than one occasion. It was why she requested some position be found for him to have a legitimate reason to be with the BAU.

Looking at Reid, Emily decided to tell him. She said, “The review board asked me to weigh in before they made their decision and… given Mike’s unique talents, they asked for a tactical appraisal. I told them you were rock solid. Mike… impressed them.”

Reid didn’t doubt that and he knew what that would entail. He never doubted that if given the opportunity, Michael would come through for him, do anything to help him out. Emily though… He looked at her and said softly, “Thank you for putting yourself on a limb for me.”

“I know you, Spencer,” Emily replied, taking in the somber look. “The limb isn’t going to break.”

Reid gave his thanks through the look he gave her. He let her go since they did have a case to work on. He sat in his seat and put a hand to his head and gave a slight massage. It said a lot that Emily believed in him, that he wouldn’t break.

“She is right, Spence.”

Reid looked up to see Michael. He had been sitting back and leaning in his chair. The headphones were hanging around his neck. “How long have you been listening?”

“Didn’t need to listen. You know that,” Michael replied with a wry smile. He straightened up and leaned forward to look at Reid.

Reid did know that. He knew that Michael could explain that it was all body language but most wouldn’t believe it. It was now a preference to have some mysteriousness like Reid’s secrets of physics magic. His lip twitched and he looked downward at his paper work. His hands were clasped in front of him.

Michael studied him for a moment before saying, “I don’t say things just to throw out a meaningless platitude. I mean what I say. You are rock solid as Ems says. We know you, little brother.” He got up to go work on the board, pausing to give Reid a gentle pat to the shoulder.

Normally averse to touching, Reid welcomed the pat. He turned to watch his brother pin up and start making connections to the case at hand. His lip twitched as he watched Michael put the noise cancellation headphones back on and continued to work. He turned and looked at his own work, took a breath and picked up his pencil.

It meant a lot that Emily had that much faith in him. It eased the burden a little. It was a work in progress adjusting to be in the real world again. Reid knew that he had friends and family there ready to support and give help. But he knew he was going to have to figure out a few things on his own. He was willing to do that since he had noticed a few things since his incarceration. They weren’t necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it was a change for the better.

 _The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance._ – Nathaniel Branden


End file.
